The Secret to Being Attractive

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how to be attractive to women

Attracting women, no, attracting people is a skill. With all skills it must be honed, practiced, refined, and tempered.

No one learns lay ups by reading a book. There’s not a soul that learns how to do a roundhouse kick just by listening to their teacher. People don’t just magically improve their cooking level just by letting good food rot in the fridge.

A person has to do it, fail, and then try again. It sucks to fail. Heck, it sucks to try something you expect to fail, then fail, and then go I told you so to your own brain.

A chef does not become recognized without destroying good food along the way. Shakespeare did not pop out of his mother, miraculously knowing English, and writing Romeo and Juliet at the tender age of 30 seconds.

Everything has to be learned and earned in this life. And everything has to start with the basics:

Ignore genders for a moment. Just think humans. Humans are attracted to similar qualities, and repulsed by others.

Positive traits – you are funny, approachable, and polite

Negative traits – Bad hygiene, rude, insulting, and disrespectful

Regardless of gender, humans like these positive traits in other humans, regardless of male or females.

Males like other males who are agreeable (Doesn’t necessarily mean they want to be intimate); and the same applies for female/female relationships and friendships.

Needless to say every person has both good and bad. No one is an angel; and no one can make everybody happy. It blows because it is very appealing to think that the people you can make happy (plus they make you happy) are people who are part of your life; and the people who are evil are halfway across the world.

Sadly this is never true.

The Secret to Being Attractive (and Successful)

secret to successThis article isn’t about selling something. I could start off with a story, describing myself as an antihero that everyone can secretly relate to, bond with the most vulnerable side of your mind, and make you give me money.

I don’t have time for that junk. I’ll just get right to the point.

In fact, I’m already there: the secret is trial and error.

Ta-da. It’s terrifying, it’s stupid, and it’s nigh self-destructive.

But it actually is the best shortcut.

You think NBA players have 90% free throw averages without tossing millions and millions of bricks at the hoop?

When you grow older and look back at yourself and the memories that you and only you have, you realize that you kick yourself. Could’ve done that differently; shouldn’t have done that at all.

Experience is the best teacher, albeit not the nicest.

So wait, basically this author is telling you to get your feelings hurt?


With experience comes maturity. Maturity is the idea of being able to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. Given that appropriate is usually being in control and not losing it emotionally we can synonymously tie ‘maturity’ with ‘being in control of ourselves and our emotions’

Think about a joke. It’s funny the first time you hear it. The second. The third. Even the fourth time a year later. But after hearing it over and over again you acknowledge the joke but don’t respond to it. That’s maturity.

The first rejection by a girl sucks. It does. It destroys your mentality and it feels like the pieces won’t be put back together. But by the twentieth time it becomes a ‘meh’ feeling. I have been dumped, for real, a total of 10 times; ten real moments of rejection that I didn’t expect. Somehow I feel that the 11th time isn’t going to be so bad.

Because by the tenth time you really start to realize how big the world is. You start to adjust, grow, and adapt. You become more realistic and realize that some things aren’t meant to be.

Every book out there, every video, and every marketing tool tries to sell the idea that you are an amazing ‘badass’ who can sleep with every woman you meet in your life. Sounds sexy and tempting. Well genius, what happens when two guys, each taught with the same technique, butt heads with each other going for the same girl? A most stark contradiction this is. The more ‘badass’ wins? The girl falls for both dudes? Please

How to Be Attractive

how to be attractiveWhat makes a man attractive (attractive, not the most attractive, be realistic), is that he is in control of himself. Who is more appealing, the guy who loses a ball game with a handshake, or the dick that throws the ball onto the road? Grace in defeat is maturity. No one likes it, but no one has to let defeat get to them.

Granted, who has the time for trial and error? It is a long and arduous process and we all need to work and provide for ourselves.

True, but that’s where the human part comes in. No one is an island. Regardless of what you do for a living I guarantee that you would have to have some level of communication with another human being, even via phone and email.

If you are male, increasing your communication and rapport skills with another man will increase your communication and rapport skills with another woman as well. Why not? Easy going, chatty, respectful…. Those are qualities that make all humans gratify towards you.

Baby steps: one step at a time.

We will build on this on the next article.

Article written by fanged Badass

The Secret to Being Attractive, 5.0 out of 5 based on 10 ratings


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